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a) there is this thing called ...
---------------------------------
"In any given time,
most people have accepted
the cruelest wrongs as right
Whether through indifference,
ignorance, or brutality,
most people, oppressor and oppressed,
have apologized for atrocity,
defended it, justified it, excused it,
laughed at it, or ignored it
The oppressor,
the one who perpetrates the wrongs
for his own pleasure or profit,
is the master inventor of justification
He is the magician who,
out of thin air,
fabricates wondrous, imposing,
seemingly irrefutable intellectual reasons
which explain why one group must be degraded
at the hands of another
He is the conjurer
who takes the smoking ash of real death
and turns it into stories, poems, pictures,
which celebrate degradation as life's central truth
He is the illusionist
who paints mutilated bodies in chains
on the interior canvas of the imagination
so that, asleep or awake,
we can only hallucinate indignity and outrage
He is the manipulator of psychological reality,
the framer of law,
the engineer of social necessity,
the architect of perception and being"
http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/dworkin/WarZoneChaptIVA.html
b) we fly balloons on this fuel called ...
------------------------------------------
to the smell of hot creosote
at the back of a small laboratory
i heard this ditty sung one shift
by an old bloke, us head chemist
nick named dunky --
stand, by, your beds
here comes the air vice marshall
he's got bags of stripes
but he's only got one arse hole
-- i look round at him
and he nods --
they used to call 'em wankers tha knows
us bunks
wakey wakey
hands off shakey
-- he intones --
drop your rocks
and grab your socks
bromine -- i suggest --
erm, erm, u mean bromide
-- corrects micheal
to the right of us --
i don't think it would have had any effect r kid
-- sez dunky --
not with that crew ...
... i told mi mate one about dunky recently
about cribbage scoring and over pegging ...
-- we'd have us snap first
the four of us, we three above
and little trevor, then clear the crumbs
siden the table, and around it
play crib in paired couples --
... go wash your hands
-- would snarl dunky --
before touching these cards
am not having you
marking them ...
-- well, it wasn't as though
the cards weren't marked to fuck
in the first place
if one but looked
but it was the pegging
that dunky took umbrage with
to the extent of having to hand
a large brass cog to rap weight behind
his pegging corrections --
... shuffle
cut for box
shuffle and deal five ...
... these cards are very sticky
are ya sure ye washed ye hands
throw one in the box then
cut for his nobility
king nine
that's a box breaker
here r kid
let's begin
7 with a 7
15-2
21 for 3
31 for 2 ...
-- dunky, used to irritate folk
when he filled in as shift supervisor
on holiday cover, he'd irritate me
when he worked the night shift
if only because, it left us short
of a fourth lunch time player
i asked this character briggy one day
to come and fill in for doubles --
not today sweetheart
-- sez briggy --
i can't concentrate
it's thi mate, dunky
he just dunt care
he's a fucking nightmare ...
-- and with that, briggy departed
back in to his office
with a cup of char and a newspaper --
... what's up wi her
'as she got an headache
-- sez i
to mi mate little trevor --
nayow,
dunky rang him up last night
loads ...
here r kid
does tha know that 50 pen mix
we've got going out to knottingly
does tha think if we did this
then that might happen
well mebe -- sez briggzy --
can't we leave this til the morning
ok r kid
-- said dunky, but then after,
about half an hour later
he rang him up again --
here r kid
does tha know how this effluent's been high
well i was thinking
if we did this to the bug plant
then we might get this to happen
the bug plant -- barks briggzy --
surely this one can wait til morning
i wain't be there in the morning r kid
will i -- sez dunky --
i'll be sleeping
but am awake now
and when i'm awake
it's a privilege for others to get their kip
not a right ...
-- a giggle
and sey --
cou'n't he have left 'em a note
course he could
-- replies little trev --
he always does
when he's on a night shift
reams of the stuff
i think they hate it tha knows
they have to think about it ...
come on -- sez trev --
we'll play singlets, wi micheal
winner stays on, loser pegs
we'll not get the cog art today ...
-- i think the cog said more about dunky though
than us, although i just don't know
i was only in mi teens
when i started playing in that crib school
and in hindsight, youthful innocence
however manifest, seldom remains uncorrupted
as one get's older, if only because nowadays
corruption is passed off, or otherwise portrayed
by the politicos as being the real, mature
and every enduring state of humanity ...
c) ... now when the storms are in your head ...
-----------------------------------------------
you've got a good memory you
you'd make a great detective
-- i said to someone long ago --
i have a photographic memory
-- said this someone --
but it is very selective
i'd think i'd make a politician ...
-- i was round at theirs recently
this someone made me laugh again
we were making beige cardboard boxes
and packing stuff up for a shift
we stood back, and this someone
pointed, to their designer bags
brimming, with bits and bobs collected
off dressing tables tops and said --
... look, i am redundant
and i have become a bag women
-- i giggled and replied --
can you remember
you said once upon a time
if you were to marry me
you'd end up as a bag lady
no, did i
when
when i asked you to marry me
you've never asked me to marry you
yes i did
can't you remember
no, i think i would have recalled
can't ye, well it dunt matter
it was a long time ago, up in the arts tower
but you said --
no, if we got married
we'd end up living in a small place
probably in what your old school
call a potentially violent area
just before we split
and you wondered the streets
as a bag lady
oh, yes, now i recall, vaguely
you were in work then weren't you
yes
and you were serious
i thought so
but if you missed it
i couldn't have been serious enough
can't you remember me asking
no, not really
not any serious proposal
it's funny init, memory
-- the lady nods
and says --
ah, did you have a ring
no
well then
-- says this someone --
how was i suppose to know
you were being serious ...
-- i bite mi thumb knuckle
and shake mi head
this someone shakes their head too
and in time sez --
did i hurt you
no,
i dint work out like that, did it
you were there
we'd been faffing about for quite a bit
and i wasn't going anywhere romatically
until i cleared the air with you
and it cleared the air with you ...
-- the lady nods --
-- in time i say --
you'll get work again you know
sure, sure
i haven't looked yet really
i can't, not here
the only work available to me here
is the type i did when i was a student
it's like i've wasted all the time in between
nayow, you haven't
you being doing other stuff too
and it's just a profession
when all said and done
and you've had others
and in any case
your skills are transferable
i mean, i don't have your profession
but have done the degrees
and they come in very handy at work
you bound to get a start somewhere
of course i'll get a start somewhere
as you term it
i just don't want to start again here
i can't go back, you understand
it won't be as daunting
in a different city
to start again
yes, i understand
we've not managed
to nationalise you yet then
i thought we had
you don't get nationalised
by a city silly
and it isn't as though
i'm leaving the country
i know ..
oh, what did i read the other day
it was a quote about re training
borges i think, he imagined a time
much like ours, in that the political class
had very much lost their direction
if they'd ever had one to begin with
and as a matter of practicality
had been off-hired, before they could do
any further damage, he noted
that the politicians, post dismissal
tended to make a living
as faith healers or comedians
i have a quote for you
it's from little dorrit --
the circumlocution office was
(as everybody knows without being told)
the most important department under government
no public business of any kind
could possibly be done at any time
without the acquiescence of the circumlocution office
its finger was in the largest public pie,
and in the smallest public tart
it was equally impossible to do the plainest right
and to undo the plainest wrong
without the express authority
of the circumlocution office
if another gunpowder plot had been discovered
half an hour before the lighting of the match,
nobody would have been justified in saving the parliament
until there had been half a score of boards,
half a bushel of minutes,
several sacks of official memoranda,
and a family-vault full of ungrammatical correspondence,
on the part of the circumlocution office ...
-- i giggle, and sez --
it's kafkaesque, init
like gilliam's brazil
-- this some one nods, and sez --
tell me now tuttle
would you be moving
if you were me
sure, if i was single
i'd be long gone ...
-- later that night in hindsight
i was struck be the following thought --
what do i mean,
if i was single,
i'd be long gone
i am single also ...
-- a child asked me one a bit ago --
you'd never hit mummy would you
-- i looked at the kid's mam
shake me head,
lolled a little and said --
nayow
dunt be a dafty
am not daft me
-- sez the kid --
you could be mi new dad
-- i look at the kid's mam
say something benign to the child
and am thinking --
you don't have to hit people
to hurt them ...
-- half a life ago
one o'mi mates said
allegedly --
i know he's a lunatic
but he's my lunatic
-- mi mate was talking
about me at the time
if mi grandad had been there
no doubt he's have said somat laconic,
like --
it's got to that stage
then, has it
-- if i'd have been there
i suspect i'd have just valued the 'my'
i'd asked mi mate then
if they would consider mariage
they were studying an ology
and said no
but they would consider
having a child by either
aragon or daley thompson --
you must like the taste of wedding cake
-- queried a scottish miner mate, a lot later
when we stood above a slip form chamber
near the niche upon sylvester, me returning
from a twelve week scan, conclusive evidence
of another option ---
nayow
it's not like that
i don't think i'll have to this time
i don't think she's that bothered
and anyway, have on'y just got married
to someone else, we've got a baby too
we've not been split up long
i'd need to get another divorce first
fuck, what does your misses think
does she know
course she knows
what can she think
it's been quick
but we had a clean split
and we're still talking
i suspect one part of her mind
wants to cut mi bollocks off though ...
-- a couple of years before
the phone rang, and i answered it --
main drainage
is that you
-- says the person
at the other end of the phone --
-- i recognise the voice
and say --
yes it's me
is that you
you've just caught me
i'm just about to get off
well go then
-- says the person
with some abruptness --
oh, is that what you rang for
-- silence --
hallo
are you still there
-- and i say the persons name --
yes, i'm still here
what's wrong
it'll wait
when will you be back
sunday night
what's up
please ring me when you get back
what's up
-- silence and then other sounds --
-- i say the persons name again
more as a query than anything else --
i think i'm pregnant
oh ...
have you done a test
yes of course i've done a test
well then
you probably are
how can i be
what do you mean
how can you be
where are you
what
where are you
geographically
oh, at jane's
does she know
yes, i had to tell someone
good, can you pack a bag
and i'll come get you
i can't come with you
and besides
i can't be pregnant
i just can't
what do you mean
you can't
you did biology at school dint ya
i mean i can't be pregnant
not now
not with you
has there been anybody else
no, of course not
then it must be me then
no, i mean
you have a plan for life
that doesn't involve this
that doesn't involve me
in fact, you've planned against this
i know, i'll come pick you up
i want to see you
no, go to scotland
and call me when you get back
we both need to think about our options
we'll both have time while you're away
no, we need to do this together
can you be ready in half an hour
i can't come with you
course you can
and we'll stick together at least
until we know what we're going do
i know what i'm going do
-- barks the lady --
i'm keeping it
a know, i wouldn't have thought otherwise
nor would have i persuaded you
to do otherwise
i meant, what we're going to do
not you just by yourself
i can't
you've not planned for this
listen sweetheart
reality supersedes any plan o'mine
it always has
i'll pick you up yeah
i do love you, you know
if it's any consolation ...
-- the lady above rang me some time later
i was expecting her call
things had happened that day
and i was distracted
i answer the phone
with the name of my work --
is that you
-- says the lady --
-- i recognise her voice, smiled
and said yes and how's it going --
i've had my baby
when -- sez i --
about an hour ago
oh,
every thing alright
yeah she's fine
what about you
yeah, just fine
what, just fine
just like the last time
yeah, well
nothing to write home about
i'll tell you all about it
when you're down
at the weekend
wow, well done you
what weight
hold on, wait
have you seen the news
no one will forget this birthday in a hurry
no, what you on about
haven't you seen it
two planes have crashed
in to skyscrapers in new york
the telly's saying it's terrorists
it's all over the news
news, news
-- barked the lady --
i'm telling you
what the news is today
i've just had a baby ...
-- after i split from the lady above
i went round to an old mate
and filled them in about it --
is it final
-- said mi old mate --
yes, i think i've done it
as cleanly as i could
i thought you loved her
i do
-- sez i --
but we didn't split up
through any lack of love
either though did we luv
no, i guess not
how is she
not good
but she knew it was coming
but she thought
i'd be open to negotiation
oh,
it is that final then
yes, i'm leaving the flat next week
and am going to be lodging
with a mate for a bit ...
no, lower your eyebrows
a male mate, a colleague from work
you've had this planned
yes, in one way yes
i made the decision
a long time ago
or rather, something happened
and i knew i had to move
or get swallowed, but it's been very difficult
i hate doing this, it's heartbreaking
every time
is she at the flat now
do you want me to go round
yeah, her mates are with her
she's been poorly all week
tummy bug apparently,
had leave it a day or two
if i were you, but i don't think
it'd do any harm, a familiar face
and you could talk her through
the benefits if you don't mind
sure,
what about the house
oh, it's gone through
we exchanged last week
she'll be out of the flat before me
i think it'll better for her
a fresh start
sure,
the kids had picked up on it you know
i suppose they were bound to
are they alright
yes
i didn't want to mention it
it's between you two
and that's what i told our two
don't worry, this won't disturb them too much
is there room at your friends for weekends
sure, we'll be a bit squashed mind
for a bit, but look at her
she dunt tek up much room ...
-- i point to my baby asleep
on the table between us
in a removable rear facing car crib --
.... and mi mate won't mind
if i tidy up his gaff a little
and make more space
although he might turn his nose up
if i use an aerosol
you could come and stay with us
on a weekend if it would make things easier
thank you
good,
then i'll get to see more of her
-- i lol and sez --
always look on the bright side
no one's died
in fact, quite the reverse
where is the negative
-- corrects my mate --
-- i nod --
-- mi mate looks over at my baby sleeping
and sez --
i thought she'd have fought for you more
she did
but it didn't matter
that's what i mean
i thought she was a lot stronger than that
yeah, no, she is
i mean i don't think it matted
or rather, i don't think i matted
i mean, it wasn't 'i' that was her bottom line
she already had her bottom line
from when she first met me
it must have felt like her top
she knew i was a dad
that kept in touch with his kids
she'd not seen many like that before
she used to come around on a weekend
just to get used to the idea
any thing beyond that was pure romance ...
-- i stop, and shake mi head --
... i wanted to do so much better this time
for her, and i've just put her through
a life time of pain, and i don't want to hurt her
ever, ever again ...
-- i shake my head again
and sey --
what is wrong with me
-- mi old mate looks at me
and sez --
you're emotional
-- i lol, and sey --
am going to get back
am going to miss her
-- i stand up
pick up my baby
stop lolling
and sey --
am going to really miss them
when, -- states me mate --
you know where there going
you've just got them a house
you have had this planned for a long while
haven't you
-- i stop at the door --
no, well, it wasn't quite like that
but this one's well rehearsed
how do you mean
-- mi old mate is intrigued --
well she knew that after i finished with you
i was happy to walk with just mi books and mi records
so if i was expected anything more on top from her
i was thinking like a romantic
-- mi old mates roars lolling --
did she really say that
the young are very resilient
aren't they though
but no, am joshing
she dint have to
am that used to
representing her interests
i do it as a matter of course
all i've done, is tried to get her a start
-- mi mate said something to me then
that was probably meant to be a compliant
so i didn't let it lie, and sez --
but you're right about the young
am not going to do so well
with the music this time
her and me like the same stuff you see
with you, we either had doubles
or we were just a generation apart
i ought to throw this cushion at you
go, and give me call if you need to ...
d) ... we fly balloons on this fuel called
------------------------------------------
oh, i was up north recently
and i heard one in a pub
four blokes walk in to a bar
paddy irish, taffy welsh
jock the scot and tommy english
well, the person behind the counter
just took one look at them
and said --
what's this,
another joke
-- mi mate laughs and sez --
why did you go up there
have you got anything to confess
you know we're keeping a sweepstake
oh don't,
it got a bit heavy
-- mi mate roars with laughter
and sez --
it always gets a bit heavy with yor one
oh -- stops mi mate
and enquires as to the course
of a family dispute --
nayow, they're talking again
-- i reply --
they're back to lovey dovey
well, it's not quite the same
he's older now, inhe
it was very peculiar though
it was great having him around again
full time, but he's a lot bigger now
he's way bigger than me
and am sure he's still growing
and have got back used to the space,
of a weekend daddy
also, he's quite a raconteur ye know
i don't know where he gets it from
do you know, i found myself
having to have words with him
i ended up correcting his english
of all things
-- mi mate roars in laughter again --
we were down, doing a shop
on infirmary road, just a couple
o'bits and bobs, toiletries,
he got a comic, and i got a bottle of grouse
the whiskey had a plastic security collar
have you seen them, this one's white,
the lass at the counter
bangs the neck of the bottle
very precisely in to a socket
beside her till that somehow
magnetically frees the spirit
bang, bang, bang, baang,
she's goes
other folk are looking
not just me,
bang, bang, bang, baang
she goes once more, and it comes off
she's obviously done that trick before
and they smile at each other, sweet
and chat about the comic
i keep out of it,
i don't get most of the references
i've not seen the same movies
and a lot of the actors
i only know by face
but am standing
well out of this one
whilst they chit chat
but,
it din't take them that long
flicking through the mag,
pointing to various characters
before they'd built up
to some kind of crescendo
and she says to him --
i'm not bothered
i have a boyfriend
in fact i'm engaged
and she shows him a ring
to which, he just mumbles
some patronising apology
about it not being her fault
as he found her sex
of little interest
so i said to him as we departed --
what was that all about
she's only here to do her job
if you can't be civil
you best stow it
it was her not me that started it
-- sez he --
and anyway, she obviously doesn't understand me
does she, or she wouldn't have shown me the ring
i don't think i understand it
-- i replied --
but that last bit
held me intrigued
what -- sez he --
when i played the gay card
oh, you were playing -- sez i --
it dint sound very gay to me
it sounded more like sour grapes ...
-- you know, all that learning
and he didn't get the reference
now you know i don't mind
how love manifests itself
between any of the seven sexes
but it was the head game aspect
that held my dandy irritated ...
-- mi mate roars with laughter again
and says --
what is courtship
if not head games
no don't
but i know
i tried to keep out it
but finally i found myself saying -
listen sweetheart, i'm not your friend
am your dad
oh -- giggles mi mate --
did it get that bad
nayow, not really
but sometimes, i just felt
i needed to nip things in the bud
-- mi mate grins
and nods --
so did you
did i what
the sweepstake
it's grim up north
-- i stare at mi mate
and state the name of a second lady
briefly explaining how we became involved
via various happenstance --
so afterwards, after that first night anyway
-- sez i -- once we'd secured the house
and picked up the motorbike
but before the bobbies became involved
we went out for a few beers and a curry
and that's where she asked me
just straight out, during the poppadoms
no messing --
are you seeing anybody presently
well i looked at her, smiled
nodded to his mother, sat next to her
and said --
yes, other than this lady
i spend a lot of time
with the mothers of my other kids too
but your not with them,
with them are you
no, not at the mo
-- i replied --
i am with you two, you two
aren't i
-- his mam intervened
at that pedant
and translated for me --
no, he's messing
he's not with anyone no
not presently
nayow i'm not -- sez i --
i think i'm in enough trouble
as it is, don't you ...
-- mi mate grins
and nods --
so did you
did i what
-- mi mate names the second lady --
no
oh
don't look so disappointed
well
i was looking forward to a good story
you could always make one up
i don't have to, i do have one for you
listen, i'll go and get another drink
same again
no wait, i'll get them in ...
-- mi mate goes up to the bar
there, there is a blackboard
upon it written in red green and white
'mixed olives' and a price
i follow mi mate to the bar
and get a bowl full
with a couple of cocktail sticks --
i passed a lot of shops shut down
on the way here tonight
have you heard about woolys
where am i gonna get mi brasso from
where's anybody
-- mi mate nods, and
i pop one olive in my mouth
and ask --
how's the credit crunch chewing you
well, -- tuts mi mate --
i'm somewhat buffeted
because i work in education
but we laid one hundred off last month
and have another hr1 notice pending
i had a bloke come up to me the month before
who'd lost his job in the city
corporate side though, 120 a year
said he'd settle for 40
well i don't have 40 spare
who does
-- i nod this time --
what about you
yeah well, we've got a few little bits
not enough though, unless i pull mi finger out
we've not had enough all this last year really
we'll probably fold the business
and reform as some sort of social enterprise
-- mi mate nods
and says --
that would probably suit you better
yeah, and it would mean
i might get to get to sack misen again
you never know,
i might get away with it this time
-- mi mate roars with laughter
and asks after my work colleague --
oh, i had a strange one the other day
i was round at mi welsh mate's
chatting about a prototype fab lab
and mi work colleague turns up in passing
had not seen them for a couple of days
so i told them the outcome
of a job had gone for, well
the possible cash side of it anyway
small job, start january
nowt to it really
the client and me
talk it through
in front of a screen
i show the client
relevant stuff we'd done in the past
and matched up the specific requirements
and wishes
kids kept knocking and coming in with cards
i thought the client would have been stricter
given their position, but they just melted
and coughed, before becoming stern enough
to evict the kids from the office
other teachers passing, seeing
what was happening, herded the kids
with their good wishes
down the adjacent corridor
but every time it happened
within thirty seconds
the head's screen save came up
showing sea frothing over
the beautiful still smiling body
of a relaxed bronzed youth
i stare at the picture
turn my head sideways
to turn landscape to portrait
and smile back at the face
he's beautiful, says i
the head nods, smiles and says --
yes, he's my son
he died recently
sometimes i just don't know
how i'm going to make it
i shake mi head at the parent
and they shake for a bit
then smile and say --
i have a very strong faith
there must be some purpose
i chat to the client
and ask how it happened
-- i shake mi head at mi mate
in the pub, and state --
probably best to stay away
from the details, tragic
tragic, work accident
the paramedics were just pumping fluids
in to him, so he was still warm
for when his mam and dad arrived
his death was pretty much instantaneous
-- i look at mi mate, and think
well, whatever i think i sez --
i had a meeting with a paramedic recently
i think she took to me ...
-- i name the lady
her name rhymes
with the previous lines --
-- mi mate roars with laughter again --
i wrote the peugeot off
it's taken mi this long
to get this movement back
-- sez i, meking a weird movement
with one of mi arms --
what happened -- asked mi mate
concerned --
oh, kids
fucking about
playing chase round one of the villages
longston, longstale, or something
bang out towards monsal head, south west
both micras, i think
fuck, air bags and everything
-- i nod at mi mate
and continue --
as your dad would say, shock
the third derivative
but both cars crumbled as designed
i had to boot the door out
i did it quick, survival kicked it
i was barking at misen
until i got out, and then i thought
oh, you silly bugger,
it's not gonna blow
it's fucking diesel, not lighter fuel
three of us though, holding us ribs
another three un hurt
and checking on their mates
the driver came over
and said sorry mate
and asked me how i felt
he tried to cuddle me later ...
-- i do that quirky arm movement again
waggle mi fingers a little bit more
and say to mi mate --
how do i feel ...
i'm alive
-- mi mate roars with laughter again
and i rename the lady --
she's a bit littler than me
we were facing, about six inches apart
she looked in mi eyes
and said --
i excepted the worse
i was told it was bad
but as i arrived
i quickly saw the state of the cars
and thought good
maybe they're walking
maybe they're alive
she was examining me at the time
at the back of her van
her hands were cold, she said
are you sure you don't mind
she'd stood me up first
and pushed her stethoscope
up under mi shirt, nodding over
to the other driver,
and the driver's mate
sat awaiting examination
nayow -- sez i, smiling --
i don't mind, am not shy
i dunt think have done owt permanent
but am worried about punctured lungs
do you see that cabinet
-- sez the lady --
if you had a punctured lung
you'd be as pale as that
and i doubt whether you'd be standing
after doing what i've just asked
well i thought
it's a long time since have stared in a mirror
i don't know how pale i am, do i
so i looked straight in to her peepers
and sez --
you're mi doctor for tonight
-- mi mate lols,
and sez --
well, did you
did i what -- sez i --
defeat your sweepstake by chat and happenstance
-- mi mate lols some more --
no,
and in any case
she was doing her job
and obviously had
enough to contend with
at the best of times
i left soon after
i got called away by the chief officer
they wanted me to move mi motor
have tried -- said i --
we all did, we tried to bounce it
off the road, no joy
no -- sez, the c.o. --
i mean break down,
do you have cover
you don't appear to
i'll need to call ours
you'll be charged
well i can try
-- sez i --
and got through on mi moby
to a brake down operator
i have them on speed dial
told them mi name, number
and location
based on road intersections
and they said they'd be there
within the hour
the c.o. was listening in
shakes head and says no go
i'll take over, forget that
i'll have some one here, a lot quicker
tout de suite, if not sweeter
i nod, and leave them too it
loads o'folk swimming about
regular emergency services ark
two cop cars, two fire engines
and an second ambulance arrives
i sat down at the back
on my beaten estate
and watch the ordered movement
i'm wearing my appendix g
fluorescent adolescence
i was waving traffic down
when the lady arrived
our garb some what matches
i hear her from behind
she is dismissing the second ambulance
and being dissed by a fire crew
she gives as good as she gets
and i lolled, and it hurt
and she comes over, and gets me back
in her van, for the paper work
name, address, phone number,
g p
i don't have one luv
-- sez i --
i bat for the other side
-- she just shuck her head,
and said --
when was the last time
you saw a doctor
dunno, ten, twelve years ago
i'm self employed now you see
a sick note is next to no use for me
-- she teks mi pulse, mi blood pressure
and gives mi a mini medical
whilst she ticks off the stuff
i didn't have --
have you called home
-- she queries --
i narrow my eyes
in reply
so they know you're ok
oh, sez i, no
they're no one expecting me
oh, sez she
don't you have a family
yes, sez i
waggling mi fingers so
this many, but a few have flown the coop
and i was just on mi way back
from the littlest two
blinking heck
-- said the lady --
don't you watch telly
i lolled, it hurt
and said 'casualty' ...
-- i shake mi head again
and take another long drink --
that conversation with the head teacher
kinda got to me though
i stopped miself telling mi work colleague
why would they wanna know
save it for the new year
if at all, i shouldn't have been worried
do you know,
mi colleague had come round
to call us attention
to the rendition monologues
have you heard of them ...
-- i shake mi head again --
no -- says mi mate --
but i think the name
gives it away
-- i nod --
i said to the head teacher
i don't know, but sometimes
it appears to me, that there is some sort
of metaphysical balancing act
going on somehow behind the scenes
they nodded, and then shuck their head quickly
and said --
no, that notion's dangerous here
when it happened, some of my kids said
take comfort sir, god, allah, he takes the best first
you can imagine for what missions, it may recruit
-- mi mate nods, and sez --
did you get to say goodbye to your brother
-- i nod too, and sey --
course a did
i wo saying goodbye for five years
no i meant at the end
-- i lol at mi mate, and sey --
course a did, can't you remember
we got your dad's big old granada
and drove it up here in a hurry
don't you recall
-- mi mate shakes his head, and sez --
are you still smoking,
there's some seats out the back
same again yeah ...
-- we get another couple
and go out the back patio
there's noisy heaters hanging
from some four bi fours posts
that also support a timbre roof frame
covered loosly with wind slapped tarpaulin
we sit quiet for a quite bit
and eat some crisps --
so there's no one else then
-- mi mate munches --
-- i stare at my pint
and remain silent --
well is there
-- i state disturbia
and then the name of another lady --
-- my mate lols
then stops
looks skywards
lols and says --
i've never met a women
whose name ends in an 'a'
that doesn't have big tits
-- i just stare at mi mate
until the lolling stops --
oh, it's serious then
do you know, have heard her mates
call her 'big tits',
and i've heard her express concerns
that they might be too small
it's wrong you know this
it's all fucked up init
so are they
i wouldn't know
-- mi mate lols, and sez --
who is she
you know her
or at least you've met her
-- i reply, and explain the connection --
-- mi mate lols again
this time big time
and says --
you just might loose your bollocks after all
how -- sez i --
-- mi mate names another lady,
and asks me if this lady knows --
knows what, she knows we talk
she's heard us talk, often
what is there to know
i don't know myself
i think a best summed it up
when i got caught on the phone
by mi eldest brother, he'd got skype
or somat, and just were after
a social chat, nowt important
but he tried to shedule me
for a conversation one evening
am out most nights
-- sez i --
i go see yor nephews and nieces
their mams invite me round for tea
he was persistent --
what every night
you have a tight rota
don't you get time off
for good behaviour
what about thursday night
or do you go back
to square one
er, occasionally -- sez i
and name the lady, who you say
may lead to my castration --
but on thursday
am having tea, with her kids and she
-- do you know what, he never asked
the size of her breasts
mi brother, he just said --
oh,
is there anything romantic
between you two
and i stumbled, and i said --
er, no
could there be
-- he further queried me --
no bro, not in this universe anyway
-- mi mate lols some more
and says --
take heart,
at least it makes a good wank fantasy
-- i shake mi head at mi mate,
and say --
do you know that lady i told you about
earlier, the mate of the mother of your name sake
the biker chick, it took her starter question
back in the indian, to get me thinking ...
and i thought --
i didn't give her
a full and honest answer
his mother knows though, she's seen us chatting also
but she doesn't know what, as i don't know what
but she knows you know, she's not behind the door
-- i shake mi head some more
and say --
it's all wrong you know this
i can't be her best alternative
am not having it
oh, oh, oh
-- laughs mi mate
like some giant but beardless santa --
you've made that mistake before
no, it is not the same
she is not the same
fuck -- i shake mi head --
as i said
good wank material
what's wrong with you
do you have to bring things down
to the lowest common denominator
sorry, but you must see the funny side
the funny side, the funny side
-- starts i,
then stop abruptly --
hey, i came across some porn the other day
i was packing some stuff up for ya name sake
and a came across a comic,
they come with free dvds now, did you know
-- mi mate grins and shakes his head --
well you've seen one, you've seen them all
ha'n't ye, so i got misen two, hustler babies
had not seen it close up in a long time
it's not changed much, since i last looked
you know, you can't make to love to paper
we've had this conversation before, ha'n't wi
-- i sez to mi mate who nods --
well you can't make love to tellys either
but you can try
-- mi mate snorts and giggles --
it's weird init
all these machines
and we're no more than cave men
daubing crude images
to excite some inner hunter
it's natural
-- exclaims mi mate --
there's nothing more natural than sex, is there
no
but this is not sex
it's pornography, listen
you've seen the stuff yourself
it starts off with teenage girls
dressed coyly, in garb matching
some corresponding young pop idol
a hint of stocking, then turn the page
to a fast undressing, poses, smiles, lips
then a3, my blood runs cold
my babies in the centrefold
they all want it you know, sex, rampant sex
according to the comics, the shy ones
the old ones, the married ones, love them all
bang them on the window sill
the long and the short and the tall
there gagging for it, simply gagging for it
it's all they ever think about apparently
they're just naturals,
run on ever ready batteries, wuf
go get em lads
some women do like sex you know
-- retorts mi mate --
i know, i know
-- sez i --
i've known a few
and i've known a few who like pornography too
although as a genre, they said they preferred erotica
oh
have you read any erotica
yeah
and
and there's a lot more cleaning certainly
cleaning
yes, the male characters
often seem to be cleaning things
- i shake mi head --
funny if it weren't true
-- mi mate shakes his their too
and i continue --
what would you think
if it was your daughter in the skin pics
where she thought it was her best option
to spread her legs
and smile like she meant it
it's not my daughter though is it
it shouldn't matter
i know of course it does and it must
but all the same
it shouldn't,
what a world, what a poor apology
for a world we live in, look how far we've really come
still herding, pinning us orphans and exposed children
prostrate, in prostitution
-- mi mate lols, and says --
well don't look at it then
if it upsets you so
and it may ruin your eyes you know
-- i giggle at this one
and reply --
tom baker said to mary whitehouse once
if you don't like watching it
there's always the off button
but it's omnipresent with this one init
in a way, it's very subtle
but really it's just another poncy ponzi pyramid scheme
an older entrenched generation
molding fresh youth in to entrenched ideas
-- mi mate nods, and sez --
is she clever
course she is
isn't every one
no,
what does she do
she's very good with her hands
-- sez i --
here watch this
-- i take an empty crisp packet
and fold it to an small compact
precise right angled isosceles triangle
i lob it at my mate --
here, catch
you do it
-- i do the same with a second packet
and throw it over --
pretty nifty, eh
-- mi mate looks at the blue
and pale green triangles
and sez --
you've got it bad, haven't you
oh, look
these are navigation flags
you see them on buoys
it depends on which way they point
here i'll show you
-- says mi mate faffing with the diary lea --
keep north, keep west, keep south, keep east
yeah, have seen them somewhere
oh castaneda, castanets
oh am gonna go squirt
back in a sec yeah, same again yeah ...
-- when i get back
mi mate's still faffing
and sez --
cheers for the beer
what do you think you'll do then
if you do manage to sack yourself
dunno, through on the rock and roll i guess
like a million other folk, three months hence
it'll be in a different world in any case
-- mi mate nods --
yes indeed,
we're in interesting times
arn't we though
there's some interesting work going on round here
on the river weirs, archimedes screws
renewables, i'd like to take it underground
do you know, i think i'm missing mi sewers
he's got high hopes, he's got hiigh hopes
-- intones mi mate --
well you've got to have a dream
ha'n't ye, -- starts i with some enthusiasm --
i thought i might attack
some development funding ...
no, no
no, no,
no, no, no, no, no
i have told you this before
-- stops mi mate --
drains aren't dreams
-- i just stare at mi mate, who lols, stops
and says --
ok, ok,
you've always been very peculiar about this
i don't know why though sometimes
you don't dream yourself above ground
like with your young pal for instance
whose good with her hands
-- i stare at my mate who continues --
she's not your daughter you know
nayow a know -- sez i --
she's her aunt
-- mi mate lols and says --
did you here the one
about the china man
whose wife left him
-- mi mate nods --
she went back to peeking,
he went back to wanking
that's not funny
-- replies i resisting --
here, have got one
if a centipede a bucket full
how much would a precipice
-- mi mate shakes their head --
a sheer drop
-- sez i --
oh
don't you like that one
it's clean any way
here, have got another one for you
two cats sat on a roof
which cat falls off last
-- mi mate shakes their head again --
the one with the greatest mew
do you get it, yeah, no, oh
-- sez i, and name another lady --
she's upsticks and left the north now
i helped her pack
i was round at her cousin's recently
with my landlord and a few others
her cousin got talking about
a few of his favourite things, first in their mother tongue
then in english, looks, sounds, tastes etc
he held court and was setting the questions
starter for ten, some nice answers i thought
a few cliched, but he could see me
turning mi nose up, as it got cruder
so he took the talk back
to peaches, and days we'd picnicked
on the beaches, and then he sprung one on me --
where would you like best
to place your hands
-- and he held up his hands
in a cup --
i looked her cousin in the eye
and lolled
you're thinking of someone's bum aren't you
-- sez he --
i nodded and said, goose peach
which means to twist a fart in the vernacular
or at least to hold one hypnotised
see -- sez he --
got you, admit it
lowest common denominator
i already have
-- sez i, picking up a cushion
and placing it on my lap --
but third, i'd put the bum third
really -- exclaims mi landlord --
what would you place above it
a hand
i'd like to hold someone's hand
ah -- sez her cousin
leaning forward
with interest --
second base,
good one, where first
where first, the eyes
dunt be a dafty
you can't hold some body's eyes
-- sez i --
no first, what i'd most like to do
oh, i just can't tell you
you'd only laugh
go on, tell us
-- sez her cousin --
don't be shy
no, it's not that
you'll really laugh
and think it's one of mine
-- i turn round, to my landlord
and say --
can you remember
when us work colleague
tried to convert me
in the cross guns that night
to a social process, and put forth the proposition
that we could easily reduce the duration
of our general working day
i thought about it, thought about my own jobs
the time i waste arguing the toss
with degree educated bods, arguing black is white
to extract a profit, all these little shops
yakking too each other, layer upon layer
of wasted time, and i kopped us colleague's drift
and saw capital's inefficiencies
i nodded, and us colleague said --
i wouldn't be surprised
if we would need to work,
even two hours per day
fuck -- sez i, shaking mi head now --
i can't have that
what would i do
with the rest of my time
except waste it
in drugs and masturbation
yes, yes, yes
-- laughs mi landlord --
i remember that one
yes, you laughed at it then
i think that's why i said it
but us colleague didn't
can you remember their reply
-- and i turned to the wider group
and said --
they just looked me straight in the eyes
and stately flatly --
you need to pull your finger out
-- i lift an index finger up
and show the group --
look, this is a finger out
is that it
-- enquired her cousin --
your own finger, first
you'd put your own finger first
that is not very pleasant
no i know
and do you know what
it wasn't really stuck any where
to begin with, you know how it is
i think many kids feel a strange pleasure sometime
when they do a really big poo, but as you get older
you tend to move on to other ones
and i had reached majority ...
well, that got her cousin laughing
and mi landlord took the trouble
to translate the jest to a some lads round
over as refugees, good guitar players,
acoustic
-- i nod over to mi mate --
how you getting on with the steinweg
fixed und fertig
-- replies mi mate --
go on, tell the story
where would you best
like to place your hands
ah, -- sez i --
that held her cousin intrigued too
but you never know, sometimes
how bad someone's life can be
or at least feel, and some of these refugees
can have had it so shit, that they themselves have wished
to be imprisoned away from this sick society
one bloke stitched his lips together
a couple of years ago
did you see that one
-- i shake mi head at mi mate --
it is no measure of health
to be well adjusted
to a profoundly sick society
-- sez mi mate --
jiddu krishnamurti
hark at you sherlock
-- mi mate lols, and sez --
so what did you tell them
-- i shake mi head --
i don't think i've told you this one before
ages ago, when we were working on the porter
yor one who went up north
rang me one day, she'd had petrol soaked rags
pushed through her letter box
who do you think's responsible -- i enquire --
she names a bloke, and a possible reason
it's personal, but the blokes a member
of the b n p allegedly and she's worried
he just may get his mates involved
british fucking what
-- sez i --
if he is responsible,
i'll learn that twat what it means to be fucking british
i'll tattoo it on his forehead, backwards
as an aide memoire
-- mi mate roars in laughter, and
continues --
apart from the swearing
you sound just like your brother
-- i scratch mi head
look at mi mate,
and ask --
did yor lot ever play war
when you were kids
did you ever knock on each other doors
and say --
is your fred or jacky in
yeah, well we're gonna play war
on the first field, in the woods
or up in the courts
are you coming
rat, tat, tat, tat
no, it was discouraged
-- replies mi mate --
yor lot
-- i raise my eyes --
what lot
-- replies mi mate --
how many working class mates
do you have
apart from you
yes, apart from me
-- mi mate just smirks and titters --
yor lot
-- sez i, shaking mi head --
we use to play war loads when we were kids
here, this is one of mi brother's
just before we began a rematch
can't we be the british this time
-- said us opponents --
no -- corrects mi brother --
we are the british
go on, can't we the british
how come you always get to be the british
just take a look at us
-- barks mi brother --
we are obliviously the british obviously
well we don't want to be germans again
-- would come the reply --
well you don't have, do you
why don't you join that crew over there
they're the russians, go on, go on
is that all sorted then
are you united, good, because we are the wednesdays,
let the battle commence
ra tar, toe tat ....
-- a little while later,
mi mate come's back with
noch zwei mal bier
smiles, and sez --
how are you
fine, just fine
-- i smile back --
-- mi mate remains silent,
i start again after some time --
when the lads got back from the war
it wasn't all roses, do you know
they're were loads of personal tragedies
distance, fear, lack of contact, loneliness
kids, i know a few stories
where blokes demobbed back to more kids
than they left with, stories i guess
i know a few different ones mind
-- i remain silent, still in my vague
but heavilly pregnant state --
ah -- harks mi mate, and then
in imitation of accent and face
starts an old routine of a friend
of a friend --
do you like my sister
-- i lol, and name the lady
who used to deliver it
dressed in a silk shirt
she claimed was the general garb
of pimps, and those in thailand
in particular --
do you know on some contracts
-- i sez to mi mate --
it is rumoured that
if your cabin's got a/c
and room for another two
even if it's only two little ones
you can get them two little ones
when ever you want,
what a world
orphans -- nods mi mate --
can you remember, i used to say
in the same nonchalant manner
i talked to that head teacher
about metaphysical balances
that it sempt to me, that kids
somehow picked their own parents
-- mi mate nods --
well,
i think i was talking bollocks again
-- mi mates lols, then stops
and asks me about what i told
the party with the refugees --
i stopped -- sez i, shaking mi head --
didn't i, i turned around to mi landlord
after barking that comment
offering to rectify
an apparent identity crisis
in mirrored writing
on the frontal lobe of the antagonist
and state the name of mi welsh mate
they were in the room at the time
supping tea and jotting in a tabloid
whence i began to bark and froth
in to my end of the phone line
i think it was the first time
mi welsh mate had ever heard me bark
-- i shake mi head
at mi landlord --
we din't have to much, did we
not whilst us welsh mate was around
no -- he replies --
they usually got there first
i know -- sez i --
and i suspect they liked to bark in any case
but on this occasion
mi welsh mate just listened
whilst i finished the phone call
and then asked me calmly --
what are you going to do
-- i shuck mi head at mi welsh mate --
listen, i only heard bits
you can tell me it all if you wish
but i don't need to know
and maybe i'm not the best person to know
but what ever you do
don't tell this crew here about it
-- sez mi welsh mate
nodding out the cabin door --
at least until you know
what you're going to do, or
at least until i'm with you
-- i stared at mi welsh mate
who stared right back
and then barked --
we are owed many favours on this job
too fucking many to be honest
-- then quieter --
don't let this crew know
the best of them, would sort it out
and wouldn't tell you, and then
there are others, who'd let you know
and try and take a piece of you
-- mi landlord laughed
i think more in recognition
of us welsh mate's tonalities --
who did you tell
i told us work colleague
i thought they'd have a file
on stuff like this
but they didn't
but they knew some one who did
the night after
i met this some one, at a broad left meeting
down the don in the river side pub
informed activist, gave me statistics
phone numbers of active anti fascists
we chatted bits, i shut off at the politics
and watched this big old bloke barking away
at various groups, angry but friendly
bouncing off, some point or other
it's all wrong you know
-- this bloke kept saying
until he began to froth --
well you know what am like
the more he barks
the more i giggle
until he comes over
and barks at me
what you laughing for
-- sez he --
it is all wrong you know
i know -- sez i --
then what you laughing for
-- sez he --
a dunno
why do you do
what you do
-- sez i replying --
they need to see it
-- sez he --
see what
-- sez i --
the emotion
i used to be a fucking miner
am not going to let them forget
-- i'm not giggling any more
and i say to this bloke --
do you do this often
yes, all the fucking time
-- sez he --
oh, don't you have a love life
-- and this bloke just towers above me
and sez --
are you slow timing me cunt
nayow auld luv -- sez i --
am not, am not slow timing any cunt
a just wondered how tha kept it up
that's all, r tha keeps body and soul together,
it must be hard work
yeah, it is cock -- sez he --
too fucking hard sometimes
i smoke -- sez i to he
and role another fag --
but i dunt know
whether it's an oral fixation
or it just gives me something to do
with mi hands
-- well the old bloke laughed
and sat with us for a bit --
if it's any consolation
-- offers us colleague
after a few moments
of contemplation--
marx wrote blah, and this means blah
so we sure to see blah, and at some point blah
the world will be a very different place
no -- barks the big old bloke
to us colleague --
it's of no fucking consolation
what so ever
-- and then he turns on me
and barks --
do you know what i'd like to do with my hands
to relieve the stress of both myself
and the vast billions of folk world wide
no -- sez i --
-- he stands up, teks of his coat
rolls it up, in to a very tight bundle,
and holding it sez --
to listen to your mates' talk
they reckon capital's on it's death bed
and it's just a matter of time, listen
this is one cunt, that really does deserves to die
if it's really in as bad a shape as you say
don't mess around lads, put it out of it's misery ...
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catch
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=DhYT0FT-_Zs
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