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iii) waiting for buso --------------------- oh, st'stuttering statisticians i can't get my breath a don't know which is worse becoming a chimera in front o'a mirror or as part of just a slow synchronised swimming process fish bowl tactics top tips for the gas cook successful secrets of a sexual kind that's what sells these days i think in the magazines i mean scarcity, false scarcity digital init, on, off black on white like lotsa email some folk dream in black and white though allegedly at ox-en though it's black on yellow very nice, soothing to the eye easy reading ow, silk, silk, silk what do cow's drink w'water do you know i could never remember how to spell 'water' when i was a kid i always used to get mixed up and put an 'r' in it, 'warter' until someone said to me one day just spell it like it sounds i am, sez i war-ter nayow, not how it sounds when the teaches say it how it sounds when we sey it, water ah, i get ye, water there's no r in water ... i'm going round in circles i mean, my head is it's the same at work or rather what's left of it i look at letters, notes stare at them, turn them over pick them up again, look at them again try and make some sense of it all but imagined conversations sometimes proceed real ones and one thing i know is one never knows what the real conversation will actually be other than this it will not be the one imagined i had a long conservation with myself once after getting back home from a trip to london to watch the harlequins verse the wasps and after playing a morning match misen as tight head prop for the under thirteens i fluffed a try and the team dogging still rang in mi head why i had the ball firmly in my hands five yards out no one in my way all the different ways i went over this one hours after hours i couldn't sleep with it how i would do things differently if only if only i could have the chance to replay the game exactly the same but i couldn't work it out what to do how to replay it hours and hours i was it for a fair few nights why did you pass the ball well adunt score tries do a me what tha on about tha scored ferst un aknow, that's what amean ... i'm imagining a different conversation as i type 2nite and it goes something like this well ye know have got very strong feelings for yor one and she asked me back last summer if i'd make her favourite desert at her wedding in fact she was booking me in for quite a bit of the catering -- i imagine this person's nanna smiling at this point -- but then she stopped and said i couldn't i wouldn't what, sez i get married can you imagine my family at my wedding -- i stop again, and sey -- adunt think she's talking about thee -- i imagine her nannan bursting out with the name of an often accusee -- mebby, a don't know -- i'd reply laughing -- or maybe her brothers but i think it's sad but i know what she's on about though i remember what it was like when i married her sister ... i doubt i'd get that far in the real no doubt events would over take like i mean i love eire don't get me wrong and have not been to dublin for quite a while now but it was like there was no bus queues it was like the bus stopped and every one just tried to get on all at once may be that what's wrong or right presently depending on how one looks at these things over on this side of the pond mebbe that's why we're not revolting we're just queuing up looking at us watches staring, chatting, exchanging pleasantries waiting in a nice orderly fashion waiting for the bus to come ... iv) art, empire, industry ------------------------- i didn't want to go back to college to finish my first degree at every level it had lost its importance what's the point i thought to myself it's all corrupt, tout le monde and any way i'd rather be here but a chatted about it and remember a few of the conversations ... it's a waste aknow, but it's all wasted isn't it i can always go back later though if i change my ideas but you won't you've told me so it's of no interest to you now but unless you finish it you'll not get the grant to start another because you won't have finished this one aknow, but a don't want to start another and i don't want to finish this one you'll have to get a job aknow, well i've always got one if i want one though what down there ye, they'd have me back i'm sure i'm sure they would too but i don't want this for you enough of my family work down there as it is it's decent pay i know but why won't you use your brain i would be we all have to use us brains down there you know, but i'd be in the offices mainly if that's your concern well, the labs, and we haven't had a fire down there, for a good few years now don't it's a lot safer now no, why do you want to repeat this repeat this what life here get away not down there please not with your opportunities i'm not convinced it's her isn't it no, she agrees with you oh, rather she wants me to finish the degree but for different reasons but there's some over lap, in that she wants me, to go back and use mi brain for a change ... art --- don't improvise, and throw it away ... empire ------ have you every fallen in like for a person just like to be around them no big thing really but they always seem to have an answer for everything like mi welsh mate for instance when they got all roiled up and i'd enquire -- what we're gonna do and they'd reply quite amicable like -- i'll tell you what we're going to do we're going down, that fucking office right this minute, and we'll deliver the biggest fucking that that crowd will have seen in their whole miserable fucking lives ... it doesn't come from nowhere this sort of perspective it's germ form appears to be born in confined spaces -- no, you're doing it wrong it doesn't matter what you've been told that work shall be ripped out ... the tight space imposes a pressure upon one's perception of time or at least it tends to on mine rip it up, and start again i'll take the furniture and start all over again i mean, one might have a thousand different thoughts floating through one's nogging and heaven knows if you're not confused now you've obviously not been paying attention -- buy that, sell this work all day live on hay they'll be pie in the sky when you die, peace on earth and an half of mild open man u factoring n os car wild but there's an entropy a certain crystallisation birthed in confined spaces never the less, hello ... industry -------- what tha wanna work down there for it's work init ye, but why work there it's around here init dunt tha miss thi mates have got mates here aknow but there's not much left round here tha knows na steel's shut, mines a'shut, nayot, it's going it's gone aknow well get away then a love it round here aknow, but tha mure use back there than here how's tha mek that art well there's nowt round here is there aknow, it's wasted what's tha mean, wasted well look at it tha's said so thisen steel, pits, and every thing that wo supporting it nayow, there's change big changes, but there has been before but there's still folk and it's folk who'll mek it -- i shake mi head and the other continues -- listen, when a wo thi age they had us do, national service it prepared us for life in many ways, common discipline upbringing, but it's the mates init at the end of the day any way, them days have gone a wo one o'last, and na it's thi turn, but they dunt call it national service anymore it's college init -- i shake mi head again -- listen, dunt romanticise about the steel and the pits terrible working conditions shocking, miserable, listen tha's got a grant to do a physics degree, finish it then come back here if tha wants tha'll be mure use after tha bound to be ... _______________________ Web-Site: http://www.oekonux.de/ Organization: http://www.oekonux.de/projekt/ Contact: projekt oekonux.de
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